Star Gazing

When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. Matthew 2:10


Do you ever get so overwhelmed by your to-do list that you aren't sure where to begin? I do this often. I'm a great list maker. I am not, however, great at keeping up with my list. I often make multiple lists, which I'll later lay down somewhere and, subsequently, forget where I laid them.

When I'm at school, I'll mentally think of all of the things I need to accomplish at home. When I'm home, I think of all of the things I could be doing at school. There's always something to do.

It can become overwhelming when I think too much about it. I also have some sort of attention deficit when it comes to accomplishing things: I start on one task, will become distracted mid-task by another task I could be doing, and begin on a second task... lather, rinse, repeat. Pretty soon, it's the end of the day and I've accomplished nothing.

We're busy. Always. Sometimes, tasks are necessary. Other times, we're just chasing our tails.

I wonder how much we miss amid all of the busy-ness in our lives? How many sweet moments have passed me by because I was, simply, too busy to pay attention?

I struggle with the mom-guilt of telling my girls to wait while I finish whatever. I tell them "I can't do that right now, I'm trying to do this." and I quickly realize how many little moments I'm missing. Yes, kids need to learn to wait sometimes. Yes, some things need my attention immediately. Yes, I have mom/wife things I need to accomplish at home. But, how can I be sure that I'm prioritizing the right things?

Approaching Christmas, God has really been stirring some things in my heart.

One is this: slow down.

God brought to mind the wise men in the story of Christmas. After the Baby had been born in Bethlehem, these brilliant gentlemen were, no doubt, going about their normal duties. I imagine they were busy; people looking to them for wisdom and advice. I'm sure they had responsibilities... maybe families, maybe a wife and children who needed their time. But somehow, in the middle of their normal lives, they noticed a star. A star!

This stirs in my heart... if something were to show up in the sky --a star-- would I even notice?

There are times when I'm hustling myself and the girls to and from the car in the evening. It's dark out. It's been a long day. Sometimes, I'm by myself while Shawn is at work. We've been here or there and are trying to get inside the house. I'm mentally going through what needs to be done to prepare for bedtime and for the next day while gathering up our belongings from this day. But, regularly, Madeline will say, "Where moon go?" and we'll pause to look. For that brief moment, we'll stop in our tracks and look up to the sky. On a clear night, I'll stand in awe as I see the twinkling of the countless stars that seem to go on forever. I'll see the moon shining brightly above our home, and then look to Madeline, whose face lights up as she smiles and proclaims, "Dere it is!"

The wisest men of their day in that area, I wonder if they looked to the sky, smiled, and proclaimed, "There! There it is!" Something so small, yet so significant. They were so busy, yet slowed down long enough to notice something that was probably overlooked by so many. I wonder how many other people looked into the sky that night and just saw another star. Another dark night. Another moon. And "just' another star.

Yet, for these gentlemen, God showed it to them in a completely different way.

I feel like I've heard and read the Christmas story a million times. We know the story. But, do you ever hear something that you've heard before, but this time, it catches you in a whole new way? That's been the Christmas story for me this year. I keep hanging on to different details while the Holy Spirit works to show me something new and so sweet. It's been a precious time for me and I'm so thankful.

My girls are so excited for Christmas this year. Norah sings, "Jesus, Jesus, Oh what a wonderful child!" while Madeline runs around carrying her baby Jesus from her Little People Nativity set. It excites me because I remember loving Christmas as a kid. Traditions that stay with me now, some that I do with my own family, and some new ones that we've created of our own.

My prayer for myself is to take time to enjoy the small things. Notice the things that go un-noticed. Catch those sweet smiles, inhale those precious smells, listen to those beautiful sounds, and just take it all in. Let go of the agenda. Stop worrying about what's to come. Embrace the now.

I'm so looking forward to Christmas morning in church. The last time Christmas fell on a Sunday was the year Norah was born. It was 10 days after her birthday and I remember feeling SO terrible after my C-section, high blood pressure, and days on IV magnesium. But, I was determined to make Norah's first Sunday in church to be on Christmas. 5 years later, I'm so thankful for that little memory.

Where else would you want to be on Christmas? Presents are great. Spending time with family is great. Traditions are great. But, the reason for all of this is the gift from God... His Son. Jesus makes it all possible. Jesus is the reason. So, this Christmas, I will slow down from the busy-ness. I will walk away from the yummy food. I will forget about paper and bows. I will clean up that mess later. I will pause everything and enter into His sweet presence.  I will be intentional about giving thanks to God for His incredible gift. A gift that, not only helps me day to day, but also seals my forever in Him.

That's why I celebrate.
That's why I sing.
That's why I am.
That's what I'll do.

Oh, come, let us adore Him.

Wherever You go, I will go...

On a recent trip to Pigeon Forge, some friends and I were having lunch on an outside patio. While we waited for our food, this adorable momma duck and her (18!) babies put on a show for us. They paraded around their environment. They swam, they splashed, they waddled around. They got to a few areas that were slippery little water falls and they'd flail their wings and feet to hold on as tightly as they could.

Looking back at this picture, I was hit with some super sweet parallels.

First of all, as a mom, we always have little ones near us. If I'm home and both girls are here, it is rare that I remain undisturbed as I complete whatever task I'm doing.  My girls learn, and ultimately will recreate in their own lives, everything that goes in to being a wife and mom. They hear my words; hear how those words are conveyed. They see how I handle accidents, problems, good news, sad news. They watch me interact with my husband. They see us have fun and laugh together. They also see us argue and compromise. They see me at my best, they see me at my worst. What they'll never see me do is give up on them.

What I noticed about this group of ducks was that, the mom kept her eyes ahead (press forward toward the prize). She was trusting her babies to look to her, trust her, and follow her.

All of that to say this: while I am their guide, I am also teaching them that I follow God as MY guide. I follow His lead. I do my best to stay near Him. I talk to Him, I whine to Him, I thank Him for loving me. See the connection yet?

The Lord leads us. He won't chase us. He won't smack us when we do wrobng. He doesn't pull us by the arm. He simply leads and we are to follow. We learn how to be like Him when we spend time with Him, following His lead.

One of the ladies working said the mom was very protective and would make sure you knew it wasn't okay to mess her sweet little ones.

Do we always get it right? No.
Do we slip and fall (like the tiniest of ducklings did in the water)? Yes.
Is our Daddy willing to go to war for us? Without a doubt.
Does our Leader give us a nudge when we can't make it on our own? Absolutely.

We just need to stay close, learn to be more like Him (by staying in the Word, prayer, and attending church)....oh, and follow.

School's Out For Summer!

When I was a little girl, I can remember pretending for hours on end. I would be a teacher, a doctor, an office worker, a banker, a QVC host (yes, really)..... but the common denominator between all of these, was that I was always a MOM. I was a mom who worked. And while that was fine, my ultimate dream was to just be a mom: a mom with babies.

I can remember talking about future careers that we talked about in school and in girl scouts as we were growing up, and friends had aspirations of making lots of money: doctors, laywers, veterinarians, police officers, president even! (I also secretly laugh as I think back, because in real life, none of these jobs are the just sit-back-and-watch-the-money-roll-in jobs that we seemed to think they were. I can remember one police officer coming to speak at our middle school and when asked how much an officer makes, I believe his figure was something like, $32,000 per year. We gave a "wowwwwww" noise.

Now I am a grown-up. With bills. And kids. And a mortgage. And I get it.

What I also get is that no amount of money can truly satisfy you like when you know you are walking in God's plan for your life. When you give things over to Him, not even fully understanding the HOWs of it all, it can be scary! I'm there.

As of today, I'm taking the summer off from KCA. Eeek! Yay! Huh?

This is a decision that has been many months (dare I admit, years?) in the prayer process. For starters, what I GET to do at KCA is nothing short of a blessing. I love it. I love the people I work with. I love people who have come and gone through the years. I love families I've grown to know and love as my own. I love seeing kids of years past who have grown (over night!) up and are now finishing high school and becoming adults. It's crazy the blessings I've had over the last 12 years. CRAZY! I've worked here since before I graduate college, and it's home. I'm not "leaving," by any means... just.... stepping back for a bit.

I'm at this point in life where, my kids are young. Did you know...they won't always be young?! Crazy, right?

I look at Norah, a now 4-year-old, and I'm thinking, "Did I not just find out that I'm pregnant?" It makes my head spin.

It's like, even as you're passing through all of these stages in life, you never really realize how quickly life is moving until you're a parent. At least, that's the case for me. They say "the days are long but the years fly by." Could that BE any more true? (You're welcome, F.R.I.E.N.D.S fans.)

All that to say, my girls are young, and I figure that if I'm ever going to get to be "just a mom," it's this tiny blip of time; It has to be now. Norah will be in kindergarten before I know it and I'll be ready to start Madeline in preschool. Babies don't keep, ya'll!

But, now's the time.

I'm anxious. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm a little fearful. But, mostly, I'm thrilled. I know being a stay-at-home mom isn't a cake walk. I know there will be days that I'll want to sell them off for parts. But I also know that my time with them is precious. THEY are my greatest work in life right now and I want to BE with them a little more. I love the quote that says, "Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise." Wow. What a beautifully, terrifying blessing!

I pray that my girls will do HUGE things for God. I pray that their hearts will confess Him as their Savior as soon as they realize they need one. I pray that they will lead lives sold-out to His calling for them and that they will share their love of Him with everyone they meet. I pray that they are always near at least one Godly friend who will keep them in line when they need it...because I also have enough sense to recognize that they WILL need more than a few "Come to Jesus" talks. I pray that their future spouses and children will be covered in these prayers as well by their future mothers-in-law. I trust that they will be able to not only recognize the voice of God, but follow it with their whole hearts. I pray that no matter what they choose to "be" when they grow up, that they will always BE fully-His first. He will direct their paths, I have no doubt.

So.... as we start this new path, pray with us, that we will always have what we need. God is faithful, but it never hurts to have friends who are willing to pray for you. :)